You went to the mall.
You sat on his lap.
He ran to the mens’ room
and had a quick fap...
Rent-a-Claus will follow you home...

He’s under that tree,
beyond the crosswalk...
He just works part time,
so he’s able to stalk.
Rent-a-Claus will follow you home!

He knows when you are flossing.
He'll watch you eating grapes.
He sees you when you shave your pits--
So close your goddamn drapes!

You're out in a crowd...
You feel a bit weird.
But you'll never spot him
Without his fake beard
Rent-a-Claus will follow you home!

He knows when you are flossing.
He'll watch you eating grapes.
He sees you when you shave your pits--
So close your goddamn drapes!
Oh!

He doesn't care
you called cops to your door
They gave him a warning
that he will ignore...
Rent-a-Claus will follow you home...
Rent-a-Claus is inside your home!