I saw Mommy shoving Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
She pulled out a huge knife
Threatening his life,
Crying and then screaming
‘cause he wouldn’t leave his wife.
Then I saw mommy stabbing Santa Claus,
Their quarrel ending in an viscous fight!
Oh, they struggled for the blade
and then what a mess it made:
When Mommy fought with Santa Claus last night!
I saw Mommy gutting Santa Claus
Underneath the mistletoe last night.
He dared to disagree,
Now our little xmas tree
Is dripping with intestines
where the tinsel used to be
I saw mommy hacking Santa Claus
Under his red beard that once was white...
I earned a four-day shopping spree
Pretending not to see
Mommy killing Santa Claus last night!